I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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