I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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