Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
