No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize