Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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