Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
