You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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