so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
