I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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