just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
