I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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