What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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