Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
