ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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