I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
no you cant smoke seaweed
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
