I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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