I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
