it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Randomize
