you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just tell him i said nine months
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
