I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
