In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
