This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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