i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
