I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
