I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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