I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
a search helicopter?!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
