I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
