I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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