i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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