it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
