waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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