Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Drunk is a universal language darling
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
