If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
