1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
