It's Friday. Sex?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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