she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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