I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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