i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
