Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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