Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
