I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize