I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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