I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
