Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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