Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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