I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
