Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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