i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
