i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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