And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
