just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
