my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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