Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
