I just cut my nipple shaving
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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