I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
