I look better un-naked...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
