Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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