Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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