Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
