I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
pray to the hookup gods
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
