In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
