Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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