I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
