my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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