If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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